What I loved was having so much soul

Gone

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 02:29:36 GMT

MOVED!

http://angiraffe.livejournal.com

The thought dies down, but never leaves

Mon, 02 Mar 2009 08:28:14 GMT

Tomorrow and Wednesday will be mission day, no lessons!
Hope mission's going to be as fun as last year's geeee.

I'm waiting for Mr snail tan to finish bathing and leave his house, I wanted him to wear the shirt he wore on the 1st time we went vivo and I'll wear mine, but his shirt kenna red dye cannot wear ):
Thought can rewind memories of 1st date! hahahahhaha.
Pastamania (:

How do you catch me if I'm not the only one falling.

Suddenly

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 14:35:38 GMT

I just read Rochelle's post for me and I was so touched I was only 0.1cm away from tearing! <;)
Since she warned me about her planning to post a picture of me, a picture I reckon's going to be obscene, I shall act first!
HAHA YOU THINK I DON'T HAVE FUNNY PHOTOS OF YOU IS IT.

Actually still got funnier ones but I decided if you really want to see you can ask from me personally!
Yes BFF yesss :)

Okayyyyyyyyyy so today, started my day out feeling very lousy, just couldn't keep my mind off things I don't want to think about/believe in, but my mind always refuses to listen to me.
But after church I felt very refreshed and of course, happier :D
Had dinner with sis and her bf, he sent us back home after that.

I was upset I couldn't see Boen in Xms uniform today so he promised to wear full set let me see tomorrow hahaha.

Lose control

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 07:03:58 GMT

The comments posted for my previous post was so heartwarming :) :)
Love you girls and lllllove you too sweetheart!

I just knew it, I just knew that my brown hamster was pregnant.
I just didnt expect her to be pregnant with so many babies. 8 leh!!
She seem to be a good mother, nursing her babies almost all the time, makes me less worried (:
So funny last night my mum was still playing with her, and morning suddenly 8 new lives popped out.
Hope they will follow their papa and be white in colour ;p

Not good enough

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 11:29:17 GMT

For the past 16 years, I've been searching for something that I am good in.
But seriously speaking I have never found out what that was.

I cannot sing. I cannot dance. I cannot cook. I am very clumsy. I am not musically inclined. I cannot draw. I don't have good eyesight. I am not pretty. I am not very good in my studies. I do not have perseverance for anything. I give up easily. I am emotional. I cannot run. I am not a very good daughter/sister/friend/girlfriend. I am careless. I like to eat. I am not skinny. I am lazy. I find excuses for mistakes I have made. I am fickle minded I change my mind at the slightest thing that occurs. I am afraid of pain. I need protection. My calculation sucks. I am talkative and unattentive. I am not observant at all. I always say the wrong things at the wrong time. I make a blunder out of everything. I get disgusted easily. I am fussy. I love to take shortcuts in life. I cannot adapt to changes. I am not hardworking. I am pessimistic. I understand things differently, slowly. I tend to ask stupid questions. I need people to humour me. I get jealous easily. I cannot handle stress.

If that's not enough, you should ask people around me maybe they can tell you more.
Boen why do you want me? (haha seriously)

I'm not sad just puzzled.

So hear me when I say

Fri, 27 Feb 2009 09:34:37 GMT

I reflected about things mentioned in my prev. post and I thought I shouldn't have thought that way.
The thoughts still lingers bcos I'm still feeling very nonchalent about life but truth is, the best gifts I've got are still here with me. Loving family good friends great boyfriend :)

The flu virus is kicking in, my nose is killing me slowly.

What I loved was having so much soul

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 15:18:41 GMT

I'm so bored with life, not to mention being tired of it. Every morning, everyday, every night, every week, it's the same thing. I've been in this cycle for almost 2 months now and I even forgot how I used to be during the holidays / in the past.

Every sunday, I will be lazy/not motivated enough to do my homework, and I'll end up leaving it to the next day with either the mindset "tomorrow go school then see how lor" or "monday I got 3 free periods can do". But actually I promised myself in the past that once I drop Art, I'll use that time to study and not to complete undone homework.

Every monday, I will be so exhausted and sick of school, yeah that 3 free periods will help me lessen my monday blues but still all the lessons will drain me. Totally.

Every tuesday, I'll hate assembly because they will always hold us back and delay our dismissal time. But I'll be glad I can sleep in a little longer the following day.

Every wednesday, school ends 15 minutes later and even recess is pulled backwards. So must bear with the hunger for 15 more mnutes. Btw I used to like SS and History lessons but not anymore now, esp History!! Boring library + SUPER boring teacher. I'm spending 8 periods a week in the library.. In the night I'll be frustrated that it's going to be Thursday again, the longest and most tiring day of the week.

Every Thursday, I will again complete my homework in the library during my free period. After that, I'll hear people complain about how much they have to do for Art this coming week, and I'll say 'phew I dropped Art'. We've got maths remedial till late afternoon.

Every Friday, I will feel very very happy it's a Friday but in the end I'll still end my day with 2 periods of Maths that sucks up all my brain cells.

Every Saturday, it will just zoom by and before I can sum up what I've done for the week, it's just another fresh new week again. But without any new happenings.

--

Every 2-3 days, I'll meet Boen once. So that's thrice in a week. Whenever we meet up, I'll not think about studying/homework/school. I don't usually mention anything about my school or friends. Not even anything that bothers or upsets me. I just try to keep all my thoughts free. I know it's weird but thats how we are and who knows why? He hates to talk about school as well bcos I'll always tell him 'Oi going school tomorrow? Go lei!' Then he'll digress and talk about irrelevant things. On days I meet him, I'll be home earliest by 9 and latest by 12. (I typed a huge chunk of things about meeting him but I reckon those are not necessary so I backspaced all of it.)

--

Every day, people tell me 'haiya you only have 6 subjects and you are not weighed down by any CCA, you stress for what', but no now I'm not comparing myself with anybody. More like thinking about how fun and happy my life used to be. I can yawn thinking about 'tomorrow' or 'next week'.

--

Yah this is my life. I doubt you read everything above but I feel better after venting :)
Now my dailies are just so boring, I don't even look forward to anything.
Yup nothing.

Hah I bet now you must be thinking 'woah lucky I'm not like her'.
I need a change :(

Now I think a little differently

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 09:03:06 GMT

Stayed back for English test - that I dreaded - , welllll CT is over! :)
Haha yah actually many more tests to come.

Did I mention that my mum act smart, go anyhow cut my fringe. Now look like ah fog.
I tell her very ugly she still have the cheek to say "haha actually quite ugly leh, you lah give so much comments when I was cutting!"

I have the tendency to drift into thinking about food everytime I space out now :(
I feel like playing theme hospital but very troublesome must reinstall since my brother formatted the comp already.
OH YAH and my itunes songs all gone. Again!

Pierce tongue?

A time like this

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 15:48:46 GMT

Started off my day really bad, had fever in the morning so did not go school.
But when I went to the docs my fever somehow subsided already, and that irritating doctor kept doubting me and refused to give me my MC.
Had to debate with her so annoying.
Worst of all I had a sucky tiff with baby, we just went on and on, pointless and we did not even know where it was going.
Just very unhappy so we thrashed everything out :(
But in the end we still made up with 'I love you we don't quarrel anymore ok?'
:)

By the way in the evening my fever returned!! Whatever it is I'm still going back to school tomorrowww.

Have I, ever told you what's all I wanted to know?

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 12:19:46 GMT

Photos taken on Friday :D

We just snap snap snap snap snap and did stupid things so enjoyyyyyyyyyy!
That's why after that night I could see 11 visible mosquito bites altogether on both of my legs ):

I was doing -.- face, hah!

All in all... Happy three friends saved the day!! ------->

(Actually I'm wearing a tiara.)

On a side note, yesterday afternoon I found my baby hamster dead without the head. I was sad and feeling very angry with the mother so I picked her up and placed her on my palms, shouted and scolded her for eating her own baby. I hit her many times with beansprouts and she just looked at me blankly, and I felt guilty for venting my anger on her :(
I put papa hamster with her and they started mating again.

Baby remember you said I was your dream girl

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 14:13:44 GMT

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii MY BABY HAMSTER IS STILL ALIVE YAY SURVIVORRRRRRRR.

I have a sudden liking for pineapples the only part I hate is when the pineapples 'bite my tongue'.

Okkk updates now. Spent my friday out with Rachel Hester Eileen Celine, checked out salvation army and it was so '-.-'.
Hahaha, went town, Charlene and Khatijah joined us :)
Bought a couple of apparels so happy its been so long since I last bought clothes for myself :(
In the night went over to gardens bought mega huge cup of frolick (:
Photos soon!

Went for a tempo job today, going down tomorrow as well. Love the pay mannn.
Sadly only few hours of work each day.
Had lunch and came home already.

I just changed the hamsters' bedding and gave them a good sand bath, they always look very happy and hyper after they bathe :D

My desktop is screwed I have no choice but to stick to laptop now :(

Here's some love

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 08:33:12 GMT

History test (2 SEQ) and playing badminton for an hour literally paralysed my hand today.

The hams make me wanna give them the best life ever :)

Initially I thought they looked disgusting but now I think they are not only interesting but 70% cute!
Anyway the one in the middle is deformed (and dead) since birth and the one on the right didn't even make it through the second day.
So out of three only one survived. But the hamster's mother might eat up her any minute :(
Yeah that's how unpredictable their world is. So I'd always check them at least once every hour.

Andandand I fed them hardboiled eggs!
Don't say eeee because I went googling about 'how to take care of new born hamsters' and thats what most people did.
But then my hamsters don't seem to like it, they are a really weird bunch they don't even like apples!! They only love longbeans.

I was late

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 07:41:22 GMT

Fucking hell this is too much of a shock for me.

My white hamster just gave birth to 3 new borns and 1 is already dead.
My brown hamster gave birth to at least 5 new borns and all of them only have half their body in remain, I came home and witnessed the family of the brown hamster feasting on the new borns. (The brown hamster already have 6 babies that are around 4 weeks old now, which means they are actually eating their own siblings)

This is more than just gross the sight is terrible I cannot stand looking at it why have I not realised earlier that the brown hamster's pregnant? I could have seperated it into another cage. I could have.

Keep it coming all night long

Mon, 16 Feb 2009 04:04:31 GMT

Hope vicky lets me retake my SS test on wednesday, I was dreaming all night long but not asleep until 430am last night :(

Now I can feel you changing me

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 07:01:12 GMT

Plan still changed to a typical day out, but still special :)

Went Marina square and had Kenny Rogers, food no good no good.
Walked around and somehow he spammed alot of money trying to grab a soft toy for me but ended up only getting a stitch!
Ugly stitch reminds me of him :) :)

In the night, he brought me to this cheesecake cafe at East coast, their cheesecakes' awesome!
I got peach with jelly whereas he got the peanut butter cheesecake.
Home at 12am which means I spent my full Vday with my favourite one gee.

Dearest you're my energy.

Something happy

Sat, 14 Feb 2009 05:07:55 GMT

My gastric acted up last night and I could not get to sleep, I did not have anybody to talk to because my whole house was asleep :(

Friday was great with everybody exchanging gifts everywhere so sweet to see everybody hugging everybody :) :)
Thanks for the little things from all of you!

Anyway I'm not gonna spend 14feb with make up, movie, dress, good food, or any of those.
I'll be meeting babyboy later and we'll head to east coast (:
Hope it doesn't rain!
Love simple days.

The part where the end starts

Thu, 12 Feb 2009 14:40:50 GMT

The 1st and last thing I can remember about school was CD lesson, hilarious shit man! :) :)

Anyway I forgot to prepare the little gifts for Valentines :(
So I think I'll give yall on Saturday instead. Aye anyway I forgot to mention that I actually have extra lessons on 14feb to make up for the lessons I missed during Dec holidays, but luckily it's in the morning! Since I'm the only few who did not turn up for lessons during Dec, I don't know how many of my girls are going on Sat, how to pass to you all like that!

Today I met loverboy.

Dreamy

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 12:59:16 GMT

I'm gonna prepare a little something for my girls for valentines' day :)

I was supposed to meet Hester for my haircut today but I ended up sleeping through my whole afternoon. Weather didn't permit what, unforseen circumstances!
Although the weather was rainy and cold but my sleep was disturbed almost constantly and I was half asleep all the time :(

So must burn midnight oil tonight.
Hopefully.

So forgotten

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 12:12:11 GMT

Why do I feel so tired throughout lessons for the whole day so much so that I cannot concentrate
Why do I feel like my headache's driving me nuts
Why do I feel so exhausted with life :(

After all I've done for you

Sun, 08 Feb 2009 16:04:26 GMT

I tend to get affected over very little things and I'll broad over and over it.
Hate this alot :( :(
As stupid as it seems, one of my biggest dreams is to be emotionally strong, strong enough to handle and control my own feelings.
It doesn't show that I'm immatured just because I get upset over things so minor but somehow I feel that every little thing in my life mean quite alot to me.

Anywayyyyy I spent very long hours with Rosa yesterday and we caught up on alot!
Laughed over silly things :D

Over to Boen's place today and for dinner, we had steamboat together with her sister and her friends :)

School's back tomorrow and I thought it was just a couple of hours ago when we were saying "Aye today it's finally friday tomorrow no school!!" Bye weekend hope to see you again very soon.

The toughest part

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 15:02:18 GMT

So much homework omgz.

I met Boen after school we had lunch joy and laughter before I headed home to change and out again to meet the girls for dinner! :)
Chomp chomp always make my hair have chicken wing smell.
Hah whatever it was great and so many things to laugh at.

The 'great and awesome' but 'petite' :) :)

@ Frolicks.

All together! :D

Rachhhhhh you know how many people will be at your back whenever you're gna fall, cheer up ok? Your sky want drop ah, I also help you hold okeh ;)

Not indispensable

Thu, 05 Feb 2009 15:42:38 GMT

I just got home and I enjoyed today alot although it was so tiring to be out after a long day at school :)

Time in school passed so slllloowwlllyyy today why huh?
VERY TORMENTING TO WATCH THE CLOCK TICK BY SLOWLY.
Flunked my maths test did not have enough time to complete it anyway I didnt study at all except trying to remember just 3 properties of circles. Oh well oh well, try harder next time (:

I hate heavy school bags the most and I'd rather carry all my books on my hands.
How do you girls carry such big heavy bulky school bags everyday? Backpack is already so insane I cannot imagine heavy fat textbooks in shoulder/sling bags!
Haha this is totally irrelevant to whatever I'm blogging about 'today', but I'm always amazed by how all of you can stand having elephant books weighing on your shoulders the whole day.

Okays meeting Boen tomorrow after 2.5 long days bet he missed me hoho.
He just called me and said 'aye you still at mac ah I walking over now leh yay can see you'. Hello I'm already at home you lag for 1 hour lei I spank you hor.

Circles

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 15:55:57 GMT

I've taken my nap, fantasized alot, played with hamsters, patted them to sleep, stared blankly at my textbook without even flipping it once, and I'm back here again with nothing accomplished.
I hope I'll kick the habit of giving up easily for Maths (actually for every other subject also).
Sucks to give up when you haven't even gave it a shot, but then again, what's the point when making an effort never once helped.
Ok maybe this time it will? I don't know.

Acceptance

Wed, 04 Feb 2009 09:12:24 GMT

I have a photo of me and Rachel in the blazor but I decided maybe I shouldn't post it because very ugly and I look like a short ass beside her although it's fine with me but still I think we both look weird ):

I have nothing to blog about but I'm just here to kill time.
Oh welllll, kays so me and baby went yishun for dinner yesterday :)
I feel like getting the shoes for school but I heard that converse shoes are painful.
So let's see how it goes.
Yeah so he bought magazine (I asked him to) so I can read it on our way back hehe.

We had morning run today and it was so... ~.~
Lessons were all 'down to serious work' it was never this way last year, all I can do now is to get used to it yuck super sucky..

Anyway I cannot stand people who cannot control their temper, I cannot stand people who are mean with their words (even when nobody offended them), I cannot stand people who give others attitude just because they had a 'bad day'.

Yah okay so tomorrow it's Maths CT1 and what, I'm doing shit here :(
Somehow I have a feeling it wouldn't make a difference whether or not I study.

Protective

Tue, 03 Feb 2009 08:41:03 GMT

My sister wants to name him Abraham because she wants him to be a father of many.
HAH.

Today I went to school late, 1040am.
So school's kinda short for me but still I don't feel very energetic after school so resorted to same old ways of cabbing home with Clare.

I actually just peeled my pimple off and it wasn't intentional. From young I have learnt to be very afraid of doing such things because I once had an uncle who have lots of holes on his face, he told us it was because he used to have itchy hands and always love squeezing/peeling/scratching his pimples that's why now his face like that.

Okay anyway my purpose of coming online is to go see what nice movies are there so yep I'm off :)